Any Means Necessary

When my daughter entered college a year ago and had a partial scholarship that covered only 7% of her college costs, I was worried about how my family would pay for it in addition to her helping out financially. Being the hustler that I am, I took on all kinds of part-time gigs that came my way. I was willing to do anything and everything to make money for my daughter’s college as long as it was legal (ethical was a different story). In the words of Malcolm X, I was willing to make money “By any means necessary” to pay off her college. I even told my friends that I was willing to strip for my daughter. And every time I said that, they told me to please rephrase that comment. What started as a drive to make extra money turned out to be an exciting adventure where every opportunity was a journey into the unknown. The following are some gigs that I worked on this past year to help achieve that goal.

Dead Body

Apparent cause of death:
Being overworked from trying to pay off my daughter’s college expenses.

I was lucky to get hired to portray a cadaver in a medical examiner’s room in an episode of the crime drama Blue Bloods. Well, they did want experience and I was able to tell them that I once portrayed a dead body on an episode of Law & Order: SVU, which is true. I got paid to play dead and have my body studied by a sexy medical examiner in the scene. Contrary to what you may think, this job was not torture. You could read more about my ordeal here.

Giant Dancing Coffee Cup

Icy Joe may be cross-eyed and misguided, but he’s still lovable.

My friend Edwin Valero, an actor, dedicated dad, all-around great guy, and fellow hustler who always knows how to find work, referred me to the job of “Icy Joe”, a full-body costumed character designed to promote Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee. Two 2.5-hour shifts were offered that day. I decided to take both shifts and spent five hours in Midtown Manhattan dancing and high-fiving various customers who stopped by to try new Dunkin’ Donuts products.

Waiting for the red light to change while leading my pace group during a Summer Streets event.

Professional Pacer

I was hired to be a professional pacer by John Henwood for the Mile High Running Club. After 37 years of running, I finally have the opportunity to make money at it. Besides, I love helping others achieve their running goals with this new position.

Author

The author with one of his fans and long-time friend Jaime.

I published a book called Eight Hours in Freeport. Any proceeds I have made through Amazon, book signings or from here, I have deposited into my daughter’s college account.

Web Editor

From a post on Facebook by celebrity photographer Barry Morgenstein, I was able to get a part-time gig as a web editor for his website www.barrymorgenstein.com. The previous web editor was charging him way too much for the work involved and I was able to offer an hourly rate that was 67% less than what he was being charged. In order to get this gig, I mentioned my experience as the web editor for the Staten Island Athletic Club’s website (statenislandac.org).

Male Stripper

I was never a male stripper, but I would have taken up the offer if the opportunity had arisen. Yes, I love my daughter THAT much. And it’s not what you think. Get your mind out of the gutter!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s