As parents, we all want to make sure that our children do their best in life. Sometimes we do a little too much and go overboard by unintentionally becoming helicopter parents out of fear that our children will fail without our help. I’m just as guilty as any other parent in that regard. There have been many situations where I have interrupted a conversation between an adult and my son or daughter by speaking on their behalf when my children were right there to engage in the conversation themselves. It’s as if I was their lawyer and my children were incapable of speaking for themselves.

A recent eye-opening event happened that helped me break out of the cycle of speaking on my son’s behalf and respecting what he had to say. He was hired to be a pacer for the Mile High Run Club in Manhattan. As he lead a small group of runners through Central Park with me as one of the runners in the group, another runner asked him, “What do I have to do to train for a half marathon?”. With my 42 years of running experience, I was about to insert myself into the conversation and open my big fat mouth to answer that question for him thinking that I was best to answer it. But something inside me told me to stay quiet and just let him answer the question himself. He was being paid to help other runners after all. And even though he’s only 19 years old, he had accumulated a lot of running knowledge within a short period of time as a runner. I’m glad I kept quiet, for he answered her question thoroughly while including the latest and most popular running theories on how to train properly. His answer was full of technical jargon that included such concepts as VO2 Max and tempo running. The runner that he answered seemed both satisfied and impressed with his response.

After listening in on his response, I had a big smile on my face for three reasons; 1) I couldn’t have provided an answer myself as comprehensive and thoughtful as his, 2) I am glad that I did not speak on his behalf, and 3) I am damn fucking proud of him for becoming the man that he now is.

This parent still has a lot to learn.